Five years
ago I ventured to the almost forgotten region of my early childhood
to retrace routes my family traversed as refugees in 1945. I was
born in Romania in 1941 and swept up by the tidal wave of war
to become part of the 'huddled masses' seeking refuge in a new
world. My early memories are of trains, not places. Years later
when I became a sophisticated teenager in New York City I would
wave my hand and say "oh we used to travel a lot" to
abbreviate a past too charged with suffering and too complicated
to remember.
Return
is about memory and identity. It is a self-portrait and
a journey, a quest for remnants of history erased by war. The
irony in my title is that there is no return, or that my precise
destination is not as obvious as it might seem. I come from a
region known as the Bucovina, its former capital Czernowitz, which
was once under Austria, then Romania, and now in the Ukraine.There
are no family hearths to go back to there. I grew up identifying
as Romanian, though my first language was German, and as a Jew
I have a dark and frightening history to dredge up.
The leit-motifs
in Return are images of trains and of my hand holding a
small photo that was once affixed to my displaced persons papers,
circa 1947. It is a journey in present time interspersed with
self referential images - as it were, a series of flashbacks to
counterpoint present reality. My aim is to explore my own history
in the context of present social realities of the region, to examine
the layers of identity that make up our being, and ponder the
lines of destiny that propel us from one point to another.
Sylvia de Swaan
Sylvia de Swaan lives in New York state
and can be reached at: sylvia.deswaan@gmail.com
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