January 18, 1999
Four A.M.. The night brings many things for me, anxiety, fear and anger. When I was so sick I was afraid to go to sleep because when I woke up I knew what was coming. Sometimes I just left the lights on. Seven years later Im still in a vicious cycle of staying up very late. I think I do my best creative work then. I want to stick my head in a pillow and scream. I have a baby on the way, what the hell am I going to do?.